PEOPLE come and people go. Their cars fill the parking lots and street spots and they scuttle between shops to run their errands. And in all that hustle, a heel gets hooked or a toe gets jammed and they come down hard on the chipped, aging sidewalks of upscale Montclair.

Jerry Leach sees them fall. He’s the Wackenhut security guard in front of Bank of America.

“I saw six people fall in three days,” he says, pointing to two sections of sidewalk between Albertson’s and the bank.

It’s nothing new. The Town Crier has reported numerous falls in Montclair, and had promises from Oakland’s Public Works Department and even the city manager that repairs would be made.

Yet, years later, nothing has been done. It seems the city would rather settle lawsuits than prevent them.

But Leach thinks that may change, at least in front of his post. Orange cones mark the spot where repairs will be made to the sidewalk and grocery store driveway. It’s the same spot where a woman went down, hard, on her shoulder and ended up going to the hospital. And it’s the place where a senior fell and hit his head, and the blood had to be cleaned up with napkins.

In every case, Leach was there to help and file reports on the incidents. That could be why the city is springing into action. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and we all need to squeak a little louder.

But a key incident occurred recently on a section of sidewalk just up the street, near the stone wall that surrounds Montclair Park. Leach said an elderly man was resting on the wall when he got up and tripped on the lip of the sidewalk.

“He fell forward and his head put a dent in the back quarter-panel of a Lexus that was parked nearby,” Leach said.

The car’s owner showed immediate concern, asking the man for his insurance information. His auto insurance. She had a dent and she wanted it repaired. I hope the man’s head was as easily fixed.

By the way, Jerry Leach couldn’t be more suited for his job. He’s worked 60 hours a week since last December’s armed robbery at the bank, patrolling the area, eyeing the park (where the robbers emerged) and keeping a lookout on everything in the neighborhood. Leach had military training in his youth and decided to put it to work when he retired from transportation sales in 2001. Nothing gets by him, (he wasn’t working security when the robbery occurred) and there hasn’t been an incident since he came to Bank of America.

Next time you see him, stop and say hello. He’s a great guy with a lot of good stories to tell. Just make sure you watch your step. You wouldn’t want to trip on the sidewalk.

SHOP TALK: Village Soundz has closed its doors on Mountain Boulevard next to the barber shop. Word is a pet supply store is opening up, which should be great for all the dogs that parade by there daily.

Meanwhile, reader Sharon Yale says there are new owners at Thornhill Coffee Shop.

“Jim and JoAnne Heider raised their children there,” she writes, and they were big boosters of nearby Thornhill Elementary School. I’ll feature the new owner in an upcoming column.

And Esther Torres has moved her popular skin rejuvenating center, Au Natural, across the street to a larger, better suited spot above La Salsa. Her grand opening last weekend was a lavish affair, catered by Montclair Bistro. Esther’s daughter, Monica, will join her mom at the new location (complete with a garden courtyard) as an aesthetician-manicurist.

PATCH WORK: Piedmont Avenue’s popular pumpkin patch (say that five times fast) is going back to its roots on Halloween. The developer of new luxury condominiums on the site, John Protopappas, says they’ll honor the memory of the autumn gourd by naming the complex Villa Zuccone, Italian for “house of the little pumpkin.” Twenty-six residential condos and two retail condos are slated for completion by August 2007, replacing the pumpkin patch and Christmas tree lot that operated there for some 30 years. Look for free pumpkins to be given away at the site this Halloween, in celebration of the lot’s long-standing tradition.

WHEN YOU THINK of autumn leaves, you probably think of New England — or maybe the Midwest. Their stands of fiery maples and golden birch are so resplendent; they call to a whole class of tourists called Leaf Peepers.

But here on the West Coast, we have our own fall color. It peaks more toward winter and is every bit as beautiful as a deciduous forest. It’s the wine country, where the leaves on the vines blush brilliant shades of burgundy and gold. It’s nature’s great show, and the timing couldn’t be better, as the crush is just ending and the vineyards sleep silently until spring.

The Sonoma wine country is simply gorgeous this time of year. The days near Halloween are a cacophony of color for grape-growing regions like Dry Creek and the Alexander Valley. Head north on Highway 101 to Santa Rosa and stop for a cup of coffee at the historic Railroad Square. Locals and tourists alike come here and you’ll feel the energy as you browse the antique shops and the hip cafes. It’s a great launching point for your fall color tour and tastings.

With Santa Rosa as your starting point, you can choose from three colorful country drives. All are lightly traveled and incredibly romantic this time of year. The northern route takes you through one of my favorite places, Healdsburg. Lovers still stroll hand-in-hand in this charming town, window shopping and exchanging pleasantries with neighbors and merchants on the street. Healdsburg is known for its restaurants, which feature a bounty of meats and produce raised in the region. You’ll find everything from Muscovy duck to goat cheese and Pacific oysters, any of which can be packed for an afternoon picnic. From town, head toward Highway 128 for a delightful drive through the Alexander Valley. There are 28 wineries in this region, and more than 15,000 acres of vineyards blanketing the valley and surrounding hillsides. The wines run the gamut from soft cabernets to rich chardonnays and newcomers like French syrah and Italian sangiovese.

The second route takes you west from Healdsburg through the cooler climates of the Russian River appellation — perfect for pinot noir. There are 50 wineries in this region as you wind your way toward Jenner and the Pacific Ocean. In early November, you’ll still see pumpkins on the vines, along with colorful flower farms and places to cut your own Christmas trees.

If a warmer climate suits you, the third route takes you southeast from Santa Rosa along Highway 12 — through Sonoma’s famous Valley of the Moon. This is where Franciscan Padres planted the county’s first grapes in 1823 and you can still see the ancient winery stone shells today. With charming old towns like Sonoma and Glen Ellen, Highway 12 is a favorite route through a region that produces everything from peppery zinfandel to buttery cheese.

While cars and motorcoaches are the easiest way to tour the Sonoma Wine Country, they may not be the most satisfying. Consider riding a bike along the miles of flat and gently rolling roads that traverse the vineyards.

There’s a sweetness to the air as you ride past fields and farms and stop to taste a grape or two. On a bike you can take your time to stop at the bounty of boutique wineries that dot the country lanes.

If adding a little horsepower to your vehicle sounds better, you can do it, literally, by renting a horse-drawn carriage from Flying Horse Carriage Co. Using elegant coaches and well-behaved draft horses, they take you on a delightful ride through the Alexander Valley, where the sounds of the wagon wheels and the horses hooves almost lull you to sleep.

The owner and coachman, Bret Le Rolland, loves to stop and pick you a grape, then compliment it with a glass of wine and fine cheese. For sunny days he provides parasols — on cooler days, blankets. Along the way, he points out things of interest as the horses climb the hillside for a gorgeous view of the valley below.

There’s another way to see the Sonoma Wine Country, if you have the stomach. Just south of Sonoma is a regional airport where Chris Prevost keeps his planes. Not just any planes, but vintage World War II planes with open cockpits. Just say the word and he’ll show you a view of the wine region that few get to see. Donning a parachute and leather helmet, you climb the ladder to the cockpit where you’re strapped in for a thrill ride of dips and turns that are as mild or as wild as you request. Chris takes you low over long-lashed cows and fields of clover, then up for a wide-angle view of the valley and beyond. It’s one of the best ways to see the Sonoma Wine Country.

So pack a blanket and a thermos of soup, and head north this fall for some of the best autumn colors on Earth. When it comes to seasons — Sonoma can hold its own with the best of them.

TGIF. Thank God it’s fall. No more “spare the air” days. No more stubbing my toe in flip-flops. No more slathering of sunscreen every few hours. My wool suit is out and I’m not afraid to wear it.

Autumn is a time for long, lazy drives in the country. I took one of those trips the other day — to revisit a place I hadn’t seen in years — California’s Gold Country. I’d booked a room at the oldest inn in Sonora, the Gunn House Hotel. Charming rooms, plump comfy beds with bears on them, a breakfast parlor you could spend the day in — with warm walls and a stone fireplace accented by antiques and assorted knick knacks. Oh, and did I mention, they have a ghost? A specter is something most inn owners would kill for — pardon the pun, and this hotel has a friendly one, albeit mischievous. I never saw this spirit but just knowing she was there “fed” my adventure.

I’d heard about a winery not far from Sonora called Ironstone. Two of my favorite bands were playing there that night — Heart and Kansas. I loaded up my lawn chair and programmed my car’s GPS for Murphys, a charming boutique town a mile from the vineyards. It was like a boomer convention, with scores of 50-something tourists killing time before the concert. The town’s Irish pub was hopping like the Calaveras Frog Jumping Contest and I grabbed a beer before heading for the winery.

Ironstone is a surprising operation. With 1,150 acres, you can spend hours strolling the beautifully landscaped grounds, touring the wine caves and tasting the fruits of their labor. The world’s largest Crystalline Gold Leaf specimen is on display in their Heritage Museum, a priceless eye-popping piece that embodies the spirit of the Gold Rush. And outdoor concerts are held in an amphitheatre with sweeping views and grassy tiers that are perfect for blankets and low-backed chairs. The smell of barbecue lures you into the festival-like atmosphere where wine is sold in plastic carafes.

Yes — fall is a fantastic time of year. The weather cools and the Aspens shimmer and folks settle into their Autumn rhythm. And I explore. In my wool suit, I get out and discover America.

Or at least the part that’s within a few hours of home.

FREEWAY FOLIAGE: Remember Caltrans’ promise to plant greenery along that now barren stretch of Highway 13? Well, the digging will begin next spring, to the tune of $500,000. That’s a lot of bushes — 780 to be exact — all hand picked by our local politicians and a group of concerned citizens.

The shrubs along the new barrier will include Barberry (an evergreen with seasonal orange-yellow flowers and dark blue berries); Lemonade Berry (an evergreen with leathery green leaves and white/pinkish flowers); and my favorite, the Smoke Tree (a deciduous shrub that has “puffs of smoke” formed by fuzzy lavender/pink hairs). Puffs of smoke mingling with puffs of exhaust — something to look forward to in those commute-time traffic tangles.

CARD CLUB: Imagine playing bridge with the same group of women for 40 years. Local senior Lillian Cadenasso says that’s how long she and her partners have been playing cards and donating money to the Corpus Christi School library. When they started, they had four times the number of players that they have now.

“Young people are so busy with the school and kids,” she says. Still, their core group meets once a month for three hours and gives almost $500 annually to an institution that most of their children attended.

“I had eight kids at Corpus Christi,” says Cadenasso, who says in those days they charged by the family, not by the student. “People could afford those kinds of families back then,” she reflects.

Beginners and experienced players alike are invited to join their bridge group. Contact the school for more information.

FIDO’S FREEBIES: There’s no such thing as a free lunch, but with four legs and a bark you get free dessert on Park Boulevard. Reader Jeanne Cahill says the guys at Glenview Hardware give out the best dog cookies in town, free to any pooch who comes in the door.

“Our friends across the street baby-sat our dog and were astounded when he refused to walk by the store without stopping in” Cahill writes. Now that the secret is out, I’m sure the guys at the hardware store will be “hounded” for free cookies.

FALL IS FIRE season. And while some of us run in the other direction when we spot flames — two hills Eagle Scouts did just the opposite on a recent outing in the Sierra. They stopped to put out a blaze that could have turned into a major wildfire.

John Callon and Dan Langmaid were backpacking in the Hoover Wilderness just north of Yosemite when they happened upon a small forest fire. It was windy that morning and the flames were spreading quickly. The youths did what they could to shut off the fuel supply, isolating the burning logs and throwing dirt on the fire.

Soon, reinforcements came — three other members of the hiking party who found water about 300 yards away and ferried it back to the fire in bottles, pots and even their backpack rain covers. When the smoke got too thick, they covered their mouths with bandannas and kept working.

Meanwhile, Callon took off running seven miles to the nearest U.S. Forest Service station to report the blaze. By nightfall, the fire was out and the surrounding forest and dwellings were safe.

It takes a big commitment to be an Eagle Scout — with years of meetings and training and service projects. Not many boys are willing to put in the work. Thank God, Callon and Langmaid did, and knew what to do when they spotted trouble. It’s a testimony to the Boy Scouts and to a generation of youth who take their responsibility to the community seriously.

Like most scout groups, Troop 206 needs more members. If you know a boy between the ages of 11 and 16 who would like to join, contact Scoutmaster Tim Bever at beverclan@comcast.net. The Troop meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. at the Joaquin Miller Park building on Joaquin Miller Road.

FOREIGN TONGUES: If you’re planning a trip to Moscow or St. Petersburg anytime soon, you may want to bone up on your Russian. The Oakland Rotary Club is offering free Russian lessons on Tuesday nights, at their Franklin Street location. Why Russian? Two reasons, really — member Don McClure speaks it fluently and the club is also bringing over 12 lawyers from Russia so they can learn about the American legal system. “If we could teach people Russian,” says past president Tom Schmitz, “then maybe we could seduce them into being home hosts.”The Russians are coming Oct. 13 (and staying until Nov. 4) and you can learn more about the program, and the Russian lessons, by calling Jo Pegrum at 510-547-4473.

WANING SUMMER: September weather is perfect for soaking up those last rays of summer.
Reader Sue Piper suggests rounding up your friends and having a picnic this Sunday, Sept. 17 at the Woodminster Amphitheater. Michael Morgan will be conducting the East Bay Oakland Symphony in a free concert at 3 p.m. It’s part of four consecutive Sundays of music at Woodminster, put on by Oakland Parks and Rec. For more information call Karis Griffin at 510-238-3052.

EMBRACING DANCE: Thanks to reader Nelly Truong (Nelly’s Java) for inviting readers to the grand opening of her husband’s new ballroom dance hall. “It’s one of the largest in the Bay Area,” says Truong, who says the brand new 10,000-square-foot building has three separate halls to host different types of dance, like salsa, tango, twist and cha cha — and of course, the waltz. Her husband, San Manh, is opening the hall with partner Paul Yee, and both men have been teaching dance for years. The party at Just Dance (2500 Embarcadero) begins at 7 p.m. Saturday, and showcases the best competitive dancers in the area. Log on to www.justdanceballroom.com to get your free invitation.

BEING A PARENT is a huge responsibility. Kids count on us for things we can’t even imagine, until they come up. Montclair soccer coach Bill Gavce had one of those life-changing moments recently on a trip to a small Sierra lake called Middle Loch Leven.

“We’d been going there for 22 years,” he recounted, “the same group of family and friends.”

This year Gavce let his son take a buddy — an 11 year old teammate on his soccer team.

“We hiked in about five miles and were at this small, beautiful alpine lake and the kids were out doing things,” he recalled. What occurred next could have happened to any parent.

“The boys wanted to swim to the three little islands in the lake,” he said, “and one of the boys’ fathers and I were watching from shore.”

The first island was in fairly shallow water. But as the boys swam to the second island, his son’s friend began flailing.

“At first, I thought he was kidding,” said Gavce, but one of the fathers thought it was serious and he started to get in the water. Gavce called for his friend Gary Downs, a strong swimmer who often does triathlons. He was out there like lightning, but the boy had disappeared.

“He’d swallowed some water and was struggling and had passed out and sunk in maybe 15 to 20 feet of water,” Gavce said. When Downs, also a scuba diver, pulled him up — he looked dead.

“He was white as a ghost with blue lips,” said Gavce, who said they did rescue breaths and chest compressions, frantically, one after the other until the boy came around. A 911 call brought a life flight helicopter to the scene within minutes and the youth was airlifted to a nearby hospital.

“He’s fine,” Gavce said, relieved they were able to save the young man who he called a great athlete and normally a good swimmer.

“If there’s anything we can say from all this, it’s for parents to learn CPR,” he said. You never know when you’ll be called on to save a life. Not knowing what to do or how to react — isn’t an option.

SLOW SIGNS: You see them all over the neighborhoods — signs that remind drivers to slow down for kids returning to school. Sue Piper with Vice Mayor Jean Quan’s office said local residents are reusing the placards from last year’s National Walk Your Child to School Day, hoping motorists will slow to 25 mph.

“Unfortunately,” she said, “they were a bit over zealous and placed them on PG&E poles — great for visibility but not legal.”

She’s asking folks to be careful where they put the signs, and also asking PG&E to return the ones they’ve confiscated to her office so they can be reused. They cost taxpayers more than $5 apiece.

MAIL BAG: Thanks to an anonymous caller for tips on how to order a cab for short trips between Montclair and the village. She says most cab drivers will give out their personal cell number and you can call them directly when you need a ride.

Readers have been complaining that cab service is often unreliable in the hills, especially when ordered through a dispatcher. If only we had decent bus service, we wouldn’t have to care.

Meanwhile, reader John Castaldi sees that Oakland has made the New York Times again.

The article on new police efforts to fight crime says that “authorities in Oakland, Calif., have decided to call in the bad guys and tell them to knock it off. Or else.”

Weeks earlier the newspaper ran a picture of a young Oakland man, Amitai Cohen, shown hugging a fellow Israeli soldier after returning from fighting in Lebanon. I wrote about Cohen many months ago when he voluntarily left his home in the hills to join the Israeli army. The photo perfectly captured th

THERE’S A SILVER LINING to everything in life. Take air travel. I’ve flown twice since the FAA banned liquids on planes. The security lines have been shorter than ever. With everybody checking their bags now, you can breeze to the gate in record time without tripping over a zillion and one rolling suitcases. And once on the plane, you can almost take a nap in the overhead bin — it’s that empty. Now if they’d just give out toiletries with those little packs of peanuts — flying could actually be civilized again.

HAPPY TRAILS: Matt Tinonga is leaving Montclair for the toasty Central Valley. After 14 years as the owner of Montclair Village Wines, he’s selling his business to move to Clovis.

“It’s been a great ride,” he says, “but it’s time to start a new chapter in my life.”

Tinonga and his wife are leaving his childhood home of Oakland to be closer to their grandchildren.

“The decision was agonizing,” he admitted, but after losing his sister last year, he wanted to spend more time with his family. Tinonga says he’ll miss Montclair — especially the friends and customers he grew to love over the years. Good luck, Matt. It’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

CRIME BEAT: Criminal activity is on the rise in Montclair. Even the highest streets in the hills, which typically see fewer thefts and assaults, are being hit. Police say a car was stolen from Manzanita Drive this past weekend, and abandoned at the Montclair Safeway. Minutes earlier, thieves had broken into another car on the street, but took off when they triggered the alarm. Officers say the best way to protect your vehicle is to buy an alarm system, and — when possible — keep your vehicle in the garage when not in use.

BIRD MAN: Glenview bird sculptor Wheatley Allen is waiting for a call from the big guy in Sacramento. He’s got a proposal in to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to create a bronze bird as an annual environmental award. Allen’s sculptures are well known in political circles. Presidents Bill Clinton, George Bush senior, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter all commissioned his work when they were in office. But selling Schwarzenegger a bird could be quite a lofty goal. He seems more like a wild boar or water buffalo guy to me.

TASTY TIDBITS: The old Cesare’s Restaurant in Woodminster is getting a new lease on life. In fact, a Montclair couple has bought the venerable dinner house and is turning it into a Spanish/Italian eatery called Del Navio. Tedro Navio is from Spain and his family has been in the restaurant business since he was knee high. His wife, Marion, is from Italy and has all kinds of family recipes she wants to share.

“We want people to feel comfortable, like they just left my grandmother’s table,” she says. But comfort food isn’t the only thing on the menu. Look for a sports bar, of sorts, with two flat screen TVs and outdoor seating — complete with a dog friendly deck

TAXI TRAUMA: Next time you call a cab, you may want to have a back up plan. Reader Linda Stoneall says she’s had terrible luck trying to get a taxi to take her from her hills house to the village and back. And it hasn’t been just one company that’s left her stranded, but several of the big ones that you see in the Yellow Pages. The last time she was stiffed may have been the last straw. With a cast on her leg, (she’d gone to Montclair for physical therapy) Stoneall was forced to hobble up the trail along Shepherd Canyon Road until someone gave her a ride.

“If I didn’t have friends,” she says, “I don’t know what I’d do.”

KITTY MUNTZEL HAS one of those jobs that would make a mother proud. For the past 17 years, she’s been sewing costumes for the Berkeley Repertory Theatre. The job of a draper means Muntzel spends hours each day measuring actresses, cutting patterns and altering costumes.

“It takes us six weeks to build a show,” she says, “from the time we get our sketches to opening night.”

And she’s not the only one at the Rep who paid attention to her high school Home Economics teacher. The costume shop is teaming with tailors and seamstresses and other artisans who handle everything from wigs to makeup.

“We do have a wonderful costume shop with a dozen dress forms, industrial sewing machines, overlocks and industrial irons,” says Muntzel, who feels at this point in her career, it’s important to pass on her knowledge. So when she’s not working, she’s teaching young girls to sew in her Laurel District home. It’s a timeless craft that seems to be making a comeback. And for women like Muntzel, it’s a ticket to a fascinating career.

HEAVENLY TRANSACTION: Rumors have been flying about the future of the recently vacated Montclair United Methodist Church. The building at Snake and Mountain is in escrow and the neighbors are hearing buzz about heavy demolition.

“Not true!” says listing Realtor Steve Moyer, an Oakland native who regularly handles the sale of churches. “We worked with many, many people who wanted to tear down the building,” he admits, “but the numbers just didn’t pencil for those types of developers — it’s too expensive to buy the property, raise it and build something new.”

Moyer says he’ll reveal the new owner and their plans (which include keeping the church sanctuary but modifying parts of the building) as soon as he can. And that’s the gospel truth.

LIBRARY RIP-OFF: Who would steal from a library? That’s what my kids wanted to know when they went in to collect their prizes for the summer teen reading contest last week. The money for the Barnes and Noble gift certificates had been stolen from a box in the back room of the Montclair branch library. Call it a crime of opportunity — you can’t leave cash, even petty cash, lying around these days.

DOG’S WORLD: They call themselves the Rockridge Mountain Bernese Club, a pack of six look-alike dogs in one Oakland neighborhood.

“Bernese have such distinct markings that it’s easy to spot one,” says reader Sharon Fletcher, who says her dog Jake is related to two of the canine cousins who walk the streets in a big furry pack, turning heads as they go.

“They’re such friendly and goofy creatures,” says Fletcher, who says the dog friendships have spawned great bonds between the human owners, too. The proof is in the pudding. People and pooches alike will be at Jake’s third birthday party later this month, where the preferred treat will be — Frosty Paws.

HAPPY HAUNTING: Everyone loves a good ghost story and the folks at Montclair’s Phoenix Rising Salon and Day Spa are no exception. In fact, owner Cynthia Black says they have their own ghost at the spa, whom they affectionately call “Bob.”

“He appeared within the first month of opening our business two years ago,” she says, recounting the various antics of the specter in the white lab coat.

“Various staff members would find that items were missing and then, within an hour, they would return,” she recalls. Then there was the show Bob put on as he playfully dimmed the lights in the treatment rooms. But what made Black a believer was when she saw a purple handbag fly off the shelf and onto the floor.

“There’s been no action, now, for eight months or so,” she laughs, adding, “Bob may have taken a hike but he’s welcome back if he wants to come back.”

Black is no dummy — she knows that a ghost can be good for business. Especially a ghost named Bob.

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN partial to those books for dummies. It’s not so much a reflection of my IQ as proof of my extreme modesty. I’ve learned everything from how to surf the Internet to how to grow a lemon tree. And now I’ve learned that “Jazz for Dummies” is written by a homegrown musician from Montclair — Dirk Sutro.

Sutro got some of his earliest inspirations at Montclair Elementary School in the 1960s, where he played drums and idolized the Beatles.

“My parents bought me the same kind of drum set as Ringo played, only in silver sparkle, because Ringo’s blue oyster color wasn’t in stock at Sherman and Clay music on Broadway in downtown Oakland,” he remembers.

At Montera Middle School, Sutro was known for his rendition of “George of the Jungle” on the timpani, an offering that greatly annoyed his band director, Mr. Yob.

Sutro played in a jazz duo in high school with his friend Craig Huntington, who still lives in Montclair with his wife, Robin. As Sutro’s love for jazz grew, so did his skill at writing. English became his major at UC Berkeley and helped him develop the skills he needed to write several books, including “Jazz for Dummies.”

Sutro lives in Southern California now, but his folks still live in Montclair. And last year, he says his family reached a musical milestone.

“I took my Dad and Mom to see the Rolling Stones at AT&T Park, and they were blown away by the spectacle. I think my Dad is still bragging to his friends,” he said. I bet the Beatles aren’t the only thing Dad is bragging about. Keep up the good work, Dick!

CRIME UPDATE: The magazine scammers are back again, hitting on hills homeowners. A dialogue on the Montclair Safety & Improvement Web site alerts neighbors to the parade of people who have been dropped off on various streets to sell magazines.

Police warn against opening your door to these people, saying some may actually be casing your house for burglary. At the very least, their pitch is often peppered with lies, and in most cases your magazines never come.

DOG’S WORLD: Hills attorney Bob Stumpf has a leg up on every other dog owner in Oakland. His pooch, Milo, has just run his 500th lap around Lake Merritt. That, alone, would be enough to turn heads in the canine world, but this hound had to ham it up. He ran his record-setting lap in a tuxedo. It reminds me of that old joke: What do you get when you cross a dog with a penguin?

E-MAIL BAG: Reader Dave Blumgart has a beef with my recent piece on local baseball player Stephen Singleton being drafted by the Twins. I mistakenly wrote Minnesota had won two championships in the past 10 years (they were actually in 1987 and 1991) and Blumgart fired back: “Since the Twins have not even won the AL pennant since 1991 — and therefore have not in that time even appeared in the Series — it’s pretty hard to refer to any mention of their championship record over a 10-year span.”

Me thinks Dave is not a Twins fan.

BRITISH BASH: All the beautiful people were there to greet British Prime Minister Tony Blair in San Francisco the other night. Montclair’s Suzie Goodier said the Pimms was flowing at the home of George and Charlotte Schultz, and Blair looked dapper and much younger than his 53 years. There was one snafu with the food, she reports.

“The fish and chips came in paper cones, and the vinegar was dripping onto the white carpet,” she said. It was a colorful addition to the red wine that was spilled earlier in the evening. Oh — I say!

THERE’S SOMETHING ironic about living in Montclair. We’ve got oak-studded hills and wide-open spaces, but a lack of police protection and virtually no city money for downtown improvements. The Laurel District has its archways. The Fruitvale has its new transit plaza. And Montclair has its odd assortment of patio furniture resting on root-bound sidewalks that regularly catch heels and send shoppers tumbling.

“We’re having a really tough time,” says the head of the Montclair Business Association, Helen Wyman. Merchants have a plan for sprucing up Montclair, but they have to raise more money.

“We have to do it all on our own,” Wyman admits, adding that grants and city money are probably out of the question because of the area’s perceived wealth.

Thank goodness for guys like Henry Vortriede at Montclair Bistro. His celebrity bartender program (Wyman and I were both recent participants) helped raise $300, recently, for village improvements. Part of the money will go towards a citizen-funded park at the Moraga Road on/off ramp to Highway 13. The rest will be added to a fund to buy benches and signage and decorative tree grates with oak leaves and acorns.

But it won’t happen overnight. Montclair needs money and merchants are already paying through the nose for rent and assessments. So we continue to sit on splintered benches with loose slats and watch as our beloved village ages, ever so ungracefully. It’s the paradox of modern times, in a city where we always seem to be at the back of the line.

LOVING MEMORY: One of Montclair’s sweetest merchants has died, leaving a grieving husband and three children. Houng Le worked at Myrna’s Flower Shop, where she was known for her beautiful arrangements, many of which were made in her garage.

“You would see her every day delivering flowers with a smile in the morning, like sunshine,” remembers customer David Delgado. “Suddenly Montclair Village seems a lot less bright.”

Houng loved coffee and conversation, and everyone knew her at Peet’s, next door. At just 44, her life ended much too quickly, but her kindness left a glow that will shine for years.

HIP HOP: There’s a run on rabbits at the Oakland Animal Shelter. Interim director Dave Cronin says a barrage of bunnies came in last spring — mostly unwanted Easter presents. They’ve been spayed and neutered (so they won’t breed like — rabbits) and are ready for adoption. And what makes a bunny better than a more conventional pet? Cronin says they’re clean and cuddly (even litter-box trained) and they sit on your lap, just like a cat. And unlike some dogs, you never hear of a vicious rabbit. A silly rabbit perhaps — but never a vicious one. For adoption information, call 510-913-0422.

OTHER WORLDLY: If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, what planet do teenagers come from? It doesn’t matter. They’ll love the monthly Lunar Lounge night at Chabot Space and Science Center. Not only is there live music and munchies in the Celestial Cafe (with beer for adults), the Ask Jeeves Planetarium has an awesome alternative music show with jaw-dropping digital animation. Flaming lips soar through space, floating jellyfish surround you and galactic eyeballs dodge planets as you fly through giant worm holes. It makes the old Dark Side of the Moon Planetarium show look so — last century.

RED-FACED DAD: What macho guy could resist the allure of a free lunch at a Hayward tool shop? The fact that the Hooters girls were going to be there was like icing on the cake for reader John Van Krieken, who wasted no time pulling into the parking lot with his truck full of hungry construction workers. But John got the surprise of his life when he heard a voice calling “Dad.”

“There was my daughter — a Hooter girl,” he exclaimed, saying it wasn’t exactly what he meant when he told her to get a job. Perhaps the old adage is true. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.