SOMEONE ONCE SAID, “If you need something done, ask a busy person.” They must have been talking about Mike Petouhoff. He’s mastered the art of cramming 48 hours into each day — juggling family, his job and countless volunteer hours improving Montclair.

One of his biggest projects has been tapping the potential of Shepherd Canyon Park. For years, the upper part of the park has been virtually off-limits — a tangle of trees and bramble that attracted only illegal dumpers and under-aged drinkers. Petouhoff and a band of neighbors worked hard to clean up the area, and even forced the city to pick up the debris it had dumped there years earlier. And now things are rapidly changing.

I drove up Escher Road the other day to see the improvements. Parking my car at the first wide spot, I noticed a trailhead marked with logs and woodchips. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it made a nice path through the forest and down the steep slope to the soccer field. The sunlight was filtering through a canopy of trees and a chorus of songbirds made a sweet serenade. In the distance, I could hear laughter, as children played in the park below. This trail was every bit as pleasant as the paths in Redwood Park and our other local parks. It’s been a long time coming, and it’s just the beginning of the changes Petouhoff promises as a new master plan falls in place.

Thank you, Mike — and thanks to all the neighbors who’ve helped you. This is what life is all about. Living richly, giving freely — and leaving a legacy.

PACKING FOR PACHYDERMS: They say an elephant never forgets — but Oakland Zoo volunteer Cheryl Matthews is about to embark on a trip she’ll never forget. After several safari vacations to Africa, she’s headed to Namibia to study the social behavior of bull elephants for 10 weeks.

“We’ll set up our own camp in an area that’s not traveled by other tourists,” she said, adding she’s not scared in the least. “I am so thrilled to have this opportunity — I can’t imagine anything else I’d rather do.”

At age 62, Matthews is the oldest of a half-dozen zoo volunteers making the trip, headed by curator Colleen Kinzley. Before they leave, though, they’ll be part of a 10th annual Celebrate Elephants event on May 18-20 with renowned researcher Cynthia Moss. You can find out more by calling the Oakland Zoo at 510-632-9525.

MONTCLAIR MEMORIES: Thanks to reader Erik Hoffman for alerting me to the death of a longtime local teacher. James “Jimmy” Blass taught music in the Oakland schools for 47 years.

“He was a bit hard on some kids,” remembers Hoffmann, who had him for music at Montclair Elementary School, “but I really liked the guy.”

Blass was a teacher who expected the best from his students and often got it. He lived to be 87, played a number of instruments and even had his own big band.

EMPTY LOT: We pass by it often on our way down Park Boulevard to Highway 580. It’s the empty lot where a gas station once operated, just below the Presbyterian church. Reader Brad Blemker says he recently tried to buy the lot to build town homes, but his offer was turned down. It’s not clear what the owner has in mind, but the gasoline that seeped underground still has to be removed — and that could take years. It involves digging a pit to replace the old dirt and then pumping out the toxic ground water.

REMEMBERING MOM: This Sunday is the “mother of all holidays,” and Montclair photographer Reenie Raschke wants to share the celebration. Her shop window will post tributes this week to moms who are living and moms who’ve passed on. Just write 14 things you want folks to know about your mom, and submit it with a photograph to The Studio at 6232 La Salle Ave.

It’s the least we can do, after all our moms have done for us.

FOOD IS LOVE. Just ask anyone who spends hours preparing a sumptuous meal. But judging by what some of us put in our bodies, eating is a love/hate relationship. One day, we might eat an organic salad — the next day, we’re snacking on pork rinds.

And dinner can be the biggest challenge. We’re strapped for time and looking for fast food solutions. That’s where two women from Montclair come in — with a food service called Café Villanova.

Sarah Chance came up with the idea after cooking and caring for her terminally ill husband.

“When he passed away, I rented out my downstairs to Rebecca (Clark) and wanted to develop a business to franchise for women in transition,” she said. The two single mothers thought cooking would be the perfect plan. “We were already going to Berkeley Bowl and putting thought and time into menus, so we wanted to give it a shot.”

Their service area is small (just Manzanita and Villanova drives at the top of Montclair) but they hope their neighbors will embrace the idea that Chance calls a labor of love. Organic fruits and vegetables, cage-free eggs and hormone-free meats — most folks don’t have time to eat this way. But these moms do the shopping, cooking and delivery.

“It’s from the heart,” says Chance, “and we really want to do something to help people.”

DOG DANGERS: Are dog attacks more common, or are we just hearing more about them? Reader Kathleen Witt says her dog has been assaulted twice on the trails in Redwood Park, by the same Doberman. In the second encounter (which was two months after the first attack), she tried to protect her pet by picking it up.

“He grabbed my dog by the leg,” she says, “and pulled us both to the ground.”

Witt and her pet had to be treated for bites and the Doberman ended up in quarantine. He’s reportedly out, now, and back with his owner. Witt hopes he won’t attack her, or anyone else.

“Hopefully, he’ll be muzzled and on a short leash,” she says.

PARK PARKING: The stumps are slowly disappearing from the lumpy lot next to the soccer field at Shepherd Canyon Park. Thanks to a soggy spring, the ground has been soft enough for the Conservation Corps to dig out the eucalyptus trunks that have been there since the trees were cut last year.

The next step, once the money is there, is to add more parking at the popular park. The city had the cash (some of which was donated by the Monclair Soccer Club) but now says the work bid has doubled. Still, there’s hope the lot will be paved and in place by the fall soccer season.

TALKING TURKEY: There’ve been more wild turkey sightings in the hills, including reports of a rather large flock on Pinehurst Road. Reader Roland Wong says he also encountered a rafter of turkeys strolling up Melville Drive the other day. “Two males and two females,” he noted, saying they made quite a squawk when he started his van in the drive-way.

LOOKING GOOD: A half-dozen dads strutted their stuff at the annual fashion show/luncheon for Corpus Christi School this past Sunday. Modeling everything from golf shorts to swim trunks, the guys looked buffed as they sauntered down the runway in front of an appreciative all female audience.

But what really whipped the women into a frenzy was the martini glass and shaker that dad Bill Powers pulled from his fanny pack. My moles at the party say he stirred up the crowd in more ways than one!

IT’S RISKY BUSINESS ringing in spring. You go where no one has dared to go since autumn — the yard. And it’s anyone’s guess what’s hiding beneath the piles of dead leaves and overgrown plants with their gangly green extensions. I saw an eight-legged thing with big, beady eyes and screamed so loud the cat came running. Dare I even think about power-washing the deck?

With my luck it’ll unleash another round of El Niño that will stretch into June.

ON THE RUN: In today’s busy world, we look for convenience. But folks apparently don’t want to see it at the Ken Betts Chevron in Montclair. The service station has been getting complaints ever since Chevron Texaco proposed replacing the repair shop with a convenience store a few months ago. And it appears, now, that the deal is dead anyway. Janice Zeiser with Ken Betts says the Oakland Planning Commission has voted it down.

“A convenience store has a lot of parking,” she says, “and there’re only two available parking spaces, to be frank, and the rest are taken up with pumps.”

There’s also the traffic problem and the factor of competition. It’s not like we don’t already have places nearby to get chips and beer and lottery tickets. Neighbors like Lea Spencer say it best. If you let the convenience store in, soon the village will be just a place “to buy stuff.”

HIGHWAY TO HELL: It’s bad enough trying to get to the Bay Bridge toll plaza without having a car cross five lanes and head straight for your vehicle. It happened to a Montclair couple the other morning. They were approaching the pay gates when a driver came straight at them, triggering a panic that caused the motorist behind them to rear-end their Oldsmobile. To add insult to injury, the perp apparently got away — racing across the bridge without anyone in pursuit. Meanwhile, our passenger is laid up at Summit Hospital with serious leg injuries and a long road of physical therapy ahead. Driving in the Bay Area is a scary proposition — even on a good day.

GOOD DEED: When hills businessman Mort Landsberg lost his brother 10 years ago, he vowed to remember him with a charitable gift. His legacy, Mort decided, would be helping homeless youth who end up on the streets of San Francisco. That’s why Landsberg hosted a group called At The Crossroads last week for a two-day hills retreat.

“They do great work,” he told me, almost like a proud father would speak of his kids. The group walks the streets four nights a week in the Mission and downtown San Francisco, offering food, clothing and counseling, among other things. If you’d like to help, contact them on the Web at www.atthecrossroads.org.

FLOWER POWER: I love the green groups who plant flowers and shrubs along our well-traveled roadways. It really dresses up the asphalt, if you know what I mean. So here’s a toast to the folks who’ve adopted the median strip along Pleasant Valley Avenue between Piedmont Avenue and Moraga Road.

“We started out weeding and tending the poppies,” says organizer Mae Liu, “then several years ago we added lavenders, sweet peas and agapanthus.”

Now the daffodils are in bloom and on Sunday they’ll be sprucing up the strip. Early birds are invited to help between 7-9 a.m.

E-MAIL BAG: Speaking of flowers, remember that old chestnut “Where Have All The Flowers Gone?” It’s been remixed, so to speak, to vocalize the plight of the Oakland schools. Reader Stephanie Velasquez-Pearl says you can hear the new version on the Web site www.whereismyteacher.org.

Every bit as poignant as the song we grew up with, these lyrics ask “Where have all the teachers gone?” And “Where have Measure E funds gone?” Pearl says the lyrics were written by a teacher and sung by that teacher, a parent, and 12 children from Montclair Elementary School. Let’s hope our schools are on the road to recovery and the song doesn’t last long on the charts.

TODAY’S WEATHER: Unsettled with a chance of rainbows. Now doesn’t that sound better than mostly cloudy with periods of heavy rain? If we’re going to be soggier than Seattle, we’ve got to put a better face on our forecasts.

I’d like to see a waterfall report with the flash flood warnings. Maybe a horticulture update with the rainfall totals. After all, April showers bring May flowers and we all know what May flowers bring: allergies.

GETTING AWAY: La Taza de Café is getting rave reviews in its new place at 3909 Grand Ave. (formerly Autumn Moon). The location has the kind of vibe that owner Daniel Brajkovich has been looking for in Oakland. Sure, the old spot on Thornhill was fine, but La Taza needed room to grow and a place to showcase the music and the menu. With a bigger kitchen, Chef Diego Escobar has created more than 30 different tapas that bring home the flavor of Cuba. And like the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, Escobar suffers for his food.

“Look at this tamale,” he said lovingly as he brought his masterpiece to our table — a symphony of vegetables in a hand-rolled plantain. “There’s a lot of love that goes into this.” And that’s why we come here. We can feel the love.

COFFEE KLATCH: Not everyone needs a double decaf latte or a half cap to go. Some folks are content with just regular coffee, as long as it comes with conversation. That’s why the big round table at the Montclair Donut Shop is so popular. In the morning, the Irish boys hold court — Mark Dunn and the gang. But when they go to work, the “dandy dozen” come in — a group of retirees who met at the doughnut shop years ago, and still meet today. They swap stories and talk about the news. They even exchange movie reviews.

They have so much fun, working guy Ray Fry joined the group. He owns Bay Area Reverse Mortgage across the street and tries out his marketing material on the group. It’s a sweet deal when you find your own little coffee klatch.

Almost as sweet as a doughnut, drizzled with icing and topped with chocolate sprinkles.

WINDOW DRESSING: How much is that doggy in the window? If it’s at Montclair Hardware, the cost is free to have Fido photographed and displayed by the front door. Employee Mike Fox (who’s been working on and off there since 1979) has his camera ready to snap a shot of whatever four-legged critter wanders in. He’s already got about 75 dogs on display and a story to tell about most of them. But there’s no truth to the rumor that Mike starred in the Disney movie “The Fox and the Hound.”

PET POWER: Speaking of pets, April 30 is the deadline for nominations for Montclair’s annual “Doggie Mayor” competition. Reader Terese Drabec says her Sparky has what it takes to be top dog. “He just loves the village,” she says, adding the Sparkmeister really works the crowd, shaking paws and kissing babies. That’s all well and good, but in my opinion, a cat would make a better mayor. They’re cleaner and more refined, with much better social graces. Besides, cats don’t vote along party lines. They’re fiercely independent.

I often feel blessed living in Montclair. Not many folks see the Golden Gate Bridge in one direction and a hillside of cows in another. And I’m not the only one who feels this way. Reader Nikki Pooshs says when she tells people she lives here, they look at her like she has fingers of pure gold.

“I assure them that not everyone living in Montclair is filthy rich,” but she says there’s a perception that we’re not only rich, we’re snobs. And that, she says, couldn’t be further from the truth.

Pooshs found out first-hand about our caring community when she moved here from Hawaii and took a job with Curves in Montclair.

“It was there, in that tiny place, that I met the most incredible women I have ever known,” she says. They brought her hand-knit scarves and Hawaiian treats on her birthday. They formed a support system for workers and members when they needed help.

“And even after I moved on to a different job,” says Pooshs, “they collected, in one week, over $400 when my young mother suddenly died.”

This wellspring of love was bound to spill over. Now the women at Curves have started a knitting group, where they craft handmade hats, blankets and booties for charity.

“Not just any charity,” Pooshs says, “but a carefully chosen hospital or elderly facility where people might be a little less fortunate than us.”

It’s a story that had to be told — because we’re not just perched on the hill, looking down at others. We’re part of a village that pitches in to help, whenever we hear the call. If you’d like more information on the Curves knitting group, call 510-338-0302.

TAHOE-BOUND: If the hills seem quiet this Easter, it’s because so many folks are headed to Tahoe. The skiing is still great and local ski mom Lelia Tokuyama says she’s found the perfect new place to stay, as well. The Hampton Inn outside Truckee is a cozy hotel with a warm wood lobby and a free hot breakfast and wireless Internet. And it’s just 10 minutes from Northstar ski resort, where it’s snowing even as I write this column.

WEDDING BELLS: Thanks to local Realtor Katie O’Shea for the big spring scoop that Dale Marie Golden is getting married. The Wells Fargo vice president known for her passion for purple — is tying the knot July 23 with building fix-it guy Hugh MacDonald. O’Shea has been hired to find them a house and that in itself is a scoop. Between Golden and MacDonald, they probably know every Realtor in town.

WORDSMITH: Not many eighth graders can compete with adults when it comes to vocabulary. But the Glenview’s Molly Montgomery is not only a word smith, she’s the California state champ in the Reader’s Digest National Word Power Challenge. Molly’s mom, Sandra, says her daughter is a voracious reader — with Harry Potter at the top of her book list. She competes for the national championship in Orlando next weekend.

ROAD RAGE: Just when you think everyone in town is a Democrat, a story surfaces from Canyon resident Lois Aldrich who says she was run off the road by a hot-headed conservative on Shepherd Canyon Road, last month. The driver of a pickup truck was apparently offended by Aldrich’s bumper stickers — one of which takes aim at President Bush and the other at Gov. Schwarzenegger.

IF I WERE A GUY, I’d want two things in life: A big-screen TV and a job where I could wear shorts. Jeff Acosta has at least one of these covered. He wears shorts every day on his job delivering packages in Montclair. Twenty-nine years with UPS and his legs don’t look a day over 30. But even more important, Acosta loves the kudos he gets for running a tight route.
“All my customers know what time I’ll be there,” he boasts. “They can pretty much set their clocks by me.”
But while Acosta has been good for Montclair, the Village has been good to him, too.
“I’ve gotten to know hundreds of wonderful people,” he says, adding some are a little difficult but most are just great.
“I remember one lady — she was crabby to me and I finally just confronted her with it,” he recalls. He asked her why she didn’t break out a smile once in a while. After that, she laughed whenever she saw him and the friendship evolved into something so sweet, Acosta sent her flowers when she retired.
The word “respect” is used a lot these days, but for Acosta it means more than the title of a ’60s Aretha Franklin song.
“My dad is gone now but he left me with something huge,” Acosta says. “He showed me how to earn respect.”
And the lessons he learned have been paid forward.
“Dad, you know everybody,” said his youngest son when Acosta took the boys around Montclair. He introduced them to customers and made sure they shook hands.
A smile and a handshake are just two of the “special deliveries” we get from Acosta each day.
And I’ll sign on the dotted line for that anytime.

EMAIL BAG: The feathers have been flying since last week’s item on wild turkeys. Readers say they’ve been spotting the gobblers all over the hills, and they range from shy to a little dangerous. But reader Liz Taylor says Tom turkeys should be given a wide berth, especially in spring when they are defending the hens and going through their mating ritual.

“The gobbler will give plenty of body language warning before resorting to delivery of a kick or wing beating to whomever or whatever is perceived as a threat to the hens,” she writes. A wing beating? I’ll have mine with a side of garlic mashed potatoes.

SPRING FLING: There’s finally a reason to celebrate tax day, April 15. It’s the day of the big Botanic Garden sale in Tilden Park. This 10-acre garden will wow you with its large variety of native plants — virtually every species found in California. You can take home shrubs, ferns and trees, and know that they’ll grow just fine in your own yard. Proceeds help keep the garden open to the public year round at no charge. For more information, call 841-8732.

HEAVEN CENTS: Thanks to local Realtor Tiffany Stechschulte for telling me about her friend’s organization Good Cents For Oakland. Dagmar Serota came up with the idea a few years ago to collect pennies for worthy causes. There are two penny roundups in April — the fifth-graders at Emerson Elementary School are collecting coins for an after-school program called Sports4kids and Hillcrest Elementary School first-graders are donating their pennies to Hopalong Animal Rescue.

“We’ll have armored cars come pick up the coins from both schools,” Serota says. Way to go, kids!

BASH BROTHERS: Talk about a power shot. A hills dad and his 21-year-old son were playing ball at Montclair Park recently when the son hit the ball over the fence and into the windshield of a very expensive foreign sports car. Apparently, the driver wasn’t impressed and threatened to sue the father and son. No word on whether the son also was offered a contract with the Oakland A’s.

BE AFRAID. Be very afraid. No one is safe from the gangs that strike terror in the hearts of people who cross their paths. The Town Crier is a witness to their aggression, having encountered them twice in the last week.

The first time was near Skyline High School, where a dozen or so came down from the hillside and blocked the road. My instinct was to run, but I got out of the car and challenged the ring leader. He assaulted me with a blow to the ankles. I barely escaped with my life. Days later, I ran into them again. At least I thought it was them, but I couldn’t be sure. Roaming the Canyon near Pinehurst, it was clear they were up to no good. I rolled down my window and shouted at them and they screamed something back that I’ll never forget. A loud, shrill GOBBLE!

Alfred Hitchcock has got nothing on us. The wild turkeys are taking over the hills and their demeanor is alarming. Mary the walker (I’m not printing her last name for fear of reprisal) says her neighbors had to rescue her from the wrath of a giant, prehistoric looking creature near Broadway Terrace. Witnesses say the bird was a behemoth with a wingspan the size of a minivan.

“I thought it was human,” one man told me. “It was that big.”

What can we do to protect ourselves? Hunting is not really an option. These roasters are way too big for most ovens, and they’re tough old birds, to boot.

“Not even cream of mushroom soup will moisturize these babies,” one witness told me. Besides, they seem wise to the whole Thanksgiving ritual anyway. These birds have attitude and they’re not to be messed with. Take it from the Town Crier. Just leave them alone and hope they’re not roosting above you on your next walk through the woods.

E-MAIL BAG: The building of many faces (it’s been the Thornhill Café, La Taza de Café and numerous other restaurants in the last decade) has been transformed, once again. Reader Jackie Sisich says she and her husband had a great dinner at Viva Voce Café on Thornhill (next to 7-Eleven) the other night.

“We split a shrimp wrapped with pancetta and both had a wonderful pasta dish and a class of wine,” she writes, for about $43.

DIRTY AIR: Walking the streets at night, you have to wonder, sometimes, what your neighbors are burning in their fireplaces. Your eyes start watering, your nose starts twitching — and the air smells thick and nasty. Reader Sue Oscher says despite all we know about wood smoke pollution, folks still love their fireplaces.

“Would you encourage a factory next door,” she asks, adding the smoke doesn’t help our soaring childhood asthma rates.

FLOWER POWER: You’ve got to love the local color on Park Boulevard. No, I don’t mean the people — I’m talking about the plants in the center strip, brought to you by the Glenview Neighborhood Association. Organizer Roxie Kellam says the community spirit has been great and they’ve especially enjoyed working with the youth groups that help on planting days. With the city’s cooperation they’ve made the once barren boulevard a feast for the eyes.

Speaking of eye candy — reader Pat Schwinn says a wonderful native garden tour is coming up May 7, which lets you meander through 60 East Bay bird and butterfly gardens that are low maintenance, pesticide free and drought resistant. You can find out more online at www.bringingbackthenatives.net or by calling Kathy Kramer at 236-9558.

I HAD BREAKFAST with a diet guru the other day. No, we didn’t have wheat germ and Slim Fast. We met at the donut shop and packed in a few hundred calories. Man, was it liberating.

“You can feel great about your body without dieting,” writes Montclair psychologist Ed Abramson in his new book, “Body Intelligence.”

First, you need to understand why you’re eating — are you hungry or just bored, angry, stressed or eating because it’s time to eat or you see someone else eating? Dr. Abramson’s book helps you identify the trigger points and deal with them. Then you need to get to the root of your excuses for avoiding physical activity and make a plan to get moving.

Abramson guides you and then helps develop a realistic body image and weight goal so you don’t look at your body in disgust and give up.

“Hating the way you look is not a useful strategy for weight loss,” he says. “It’s demoralizing and causes people to give up any attempt to control their weight.”

The proof is in the pudding, so to speak. Abramson himself was overweight when he developed the plan for this book. Today, he’s fit and has settled into a comfortable pattern of eating and exercise that can easily last a lifetime. And with the wide girth of diet books on the market today, his guide stands out. It was recently honored as a finalist in the Books For a Better Life Awards in New York. Think of it as food for thought — as we head into swimwear season.

ANIMAL TALES: It’s a well-known fact that dogs like to swim, but Luther was testing the waters when he jumped into the pool at The Hills Swim Club in Montclair the other day. The Shepherd/St. Bernard mix had apparently run away from his home on Skyline, and wanted a dip in the private club’s sparkling blue pool. He was promptly fished out and his owners were called to come get him. It’s not the first animal hi-jinks at the club. A family of raccoons was spotted one night frolicking on the children’s play structure. And yes — the babies were even using the slide!

E-MAIL BAG: Calls and letters are pouring in regarding my item on recycling thieves. Reader Ann-Marie Moggan writes: “There is nothing that irritates me more than listening to (or reading about) the complaints of the rich.”

She goes on to defend people who take the cans and bottles out of our recycling bins by writing: “Why not applaud people for being opportunistic? Where is your sense of patriotism for the entrepreneur?”

Meanwhile, reader Mary Commanday agrees with my complaints about parked cars blocking lanes on blind curves in the hills.

“I think you must live on our street,” she writes, “since there is never a day when our curvy, sub-standard street isn’t filled with contractors’ trucks parked on both sides of the street.”

CHAMPAGNE BREAKFAST: The mimosas will be flowing at a free party this Sunday at Montclair’s Century 21 Heritage Office. Artist Sonia Kouyoumdjian is displaying her works and donating a portion of her sales to create a new park at the corner of Moraga and Thornhill. It’s a project that hits home for the father and daughter Realtor team of Mel and Tiffany Copland.

Mel remembers playing along the tracks of the Short Line Railroad, which ran along the spot where the park is proposed. The party runs during the Montclair Farmer’s Market. Everyone is invited.

IF MISERY LOVES company, then last week’s kvetching made me a lot of new friends.

All week long, I’ve been hearing complaints about one thing or another. But what really hit home was my ranting about recycling thieves.

Rita Kresha said her street used to have the same problem until the homeowners embraced Section 19 of the California Penal Code. It states that removing anything set out for recycling is a misdemeanor, punishable by law.

“We have lived on Glen Eden at Piedmont Avenue for 12 years, and have kept our street clear of scavenging by having copies of this law in English and Spanish and challenging the guys (always men), presenting the copy and sternly warning that if they ever appear on our street again, they will be met by the police.”

Other readers have told me they take more drastic measures.

“I put dirty diapers on top of the cans and bottles,” said one neighbor.

Another told me she took a photo of the Dumpster divers and turned it into the police. “Most scavengers have criminal records and are looking for more than just cans and bottles,” an Oakland policeman told me recently. “Let’s just say they’re not Boy Scouts.”

FASHION PLATE: Montclair readers are in for a treat when professional shopper Maureen French starts her column in the newspaper. French is a Montclair mother of twins (yikes!) who’s had a career in fashion for 20 years. Now she runs her own personal shopping business and you should see her in action. She helped me pick out a great outfit for my bartending debut at Montclair Bistro the other day and we were like two whirling dervishes in the women’s department at McCaulou’s. When the dust cleared, I looked like a million bucks for the price of some slacks and a blouse.

ROAD BLOCK: Driving is always an adventure on the winding canyon road called Pinehurst. Just ask Megan Carey, who’s route to school was blocked by a downed tree the other day. Luckily her dad had a chain saw and with the help of another man was able to clear the path in just minutes. The mountain men may have saved the day, but I’ll bet the kids were disappointed. They could have had a “tree day” break from school.

NIGHT OUT: Montclair musician Caren Armstrong is playing at Berkeley’s Freight and Salvage on March 24. Armstrong teaches guitar in the hills but she’s also known for her witty and poignant songwriting. She’s going solo Friday night with songs from her new CD, as well as some old favorites.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Channel 4 anchorwoman Wendy Tokuda was spotted doing a little weed control in Redwood Park the other day. She was pulling up Scotch Broom and Poison Hemlock by the roots as her dog looked on.

Tokuda lives in Montclair and volunteers in the parks, pulling up invasive weeds and replacing them with native plants. She reportedly has a killer native garden in her own yard, too.

GOVERNMENT TORTURE: My visit to the Oakland DMV last week was worse than death and taxes combined. Sitting in the waiting room, a robotic recording came on every couple of seconds announcing the next number to be served. It was loud and annoying and eventually it forced me outside in the chilly rain to wait while my daughter took her driving test.

THE TOWN CRIER is cranky today. Please don’t say it’s hormonal — I’m much too young for a mid-life crisis. Rather, it’s a deep-seeded disappointment in how some people behave. My sour disposition started when I found a man in a flannel shirt rifling through my recycling bin. Not just mine, but he was cherry-picking the cans and bottles (and God knows what else) from every gray can on the street.

That’s all it took to stew my juices. I started noticing everything under the sun. It was like a dark cloud was forming over my head, threatening to thunder clap me.

“I have to clear the air,” I thought, “and I’ll do it through my column.” So, dear readers, please let me indulge in a little self-medication as I endeavor to cure some of society’s ills.

Does it every bother you when cars park on blind curves, forcing motorists into oncoming traffic? It wasn’t so long ago that people actually parked in their garages. Now the garage is a room of the house that’s often too full for a car. Or, in the case of one family I know, they’re renting their house to four different people with four different cars, none of which goes in the garage.

And what’s with the constant construction up here? The Winchester Mystery House doesn’t get as much attention as the homes in the hills. Everyone I know is having a kitchen remodeled or a bathroom redone or a roof repair or a root removal. I think every neighborhood should have its own full-time handyman so there aren’t a dozen different company trucks on your block each day.

Other than this, I’m relatively happy. The trees give off plenty of oxygen, and I’m grateful for the fresh air. Maybe I just need to breathe a little deeper, to calm myself.

E-MAIL BAG: Thanks to reader David Schwoegler for telling me that Montclair’s Mike Healy has agreed to be Ron Dellums spokesman for the Oakland mayor’s race.

“This ‘pro bono arrangement should help keep Mike off the streets (and tennis courts) and may help Mr. Dellums find his way to the mayor’s office,” says Schwoegler.

Speaking of politics, Montclair resident John Bernard launched his campaign for Alameda County Superintendent of Schools last week at his old school — Maxwell Park Elementary. Reader Tina Lowden says he’s “Oakland public school educated — and reaching for the brass ring.”

And former Montclarion and Piedmonter columnist Ronnie Caplane kicks off her campaign tomorrow for the state Assembly. She’s having a party at 19 Grand Avenue from 1-4 p.m., followed by a “hit the bricks” precinct walk to work off the food and drink.

PLANT THIS: As flowers spring up all over Oakland, I’m told there’s a growing movement called the Million Plant March. And it’s happening in March, no less. You can pick up your free herbs and vegetables at 704 Filbert St. in San Francisco, while they last. If you want to call them first, it’s 415-421-4769.

SILENT SPRING: There’s a place in the Oakland hills where being speechless is a good thing. It’s the Hesed Meditation Center, in a residential neighborhood at 3745 Elston Ave. Folks come to practice Christian meditation from 7-7:30 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as well as various times throughout the day and evening. It’s a kind of “urban monastery,” and it’s open to the public.

DISCO DANCING: I was surprised to see a psychedelic flyer on the table at a Moraga coffee shop, recently, advertising a church dance in Oakland. St. Lawrence O’Toole holds its Disco Night dance from 8 p.m. until midnight on April 1. There’ll be plenty of polyester and a high time on old High Street that night.