History Channel provides fodder for cocktail parties


PARDON ME FOR feeling giddy. I’ve had an awakening, of sorts, since our last correspondence. I now realize that history is my destiny; that the secret to happiness is in knowledge — that can only be found on the History Channel.

Last week I shared with you the life-altering event that was my decision to sign up for satellite TV. Change indeed! In just one short week, I went from being a 10-channel loser to becoming an expert on the conspiracy to kill Martin Luther King, President Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald AND Hitler.

Suddenly I’m being invited to more cocktail parties than I can possibly attend. It seems everyone knows of my insatiable thirst for knowledge and my newfound ability to light up a room with my conversation.Don’t be surprised if I have to give up this column. I’m already getting offers to teach, and it’s all because of the 150 channels I now get on my TV. But the real credit goes to the History Channel. I’m like a walking almanac.

E-mail bag: “Please, Town Crier — share with me the deal you got on your television package. I, too, want to get rid of my rabbit-eared antenna,” says hills mom Jamie Lessons.

Reader David Stein concurs: “What deal could possibly sway us away from the antenna? I promise not to divulge your `special’ deal. I’ll take it to the grave.” My dear readers; much as I hate giving the phone company a free plug, the AT&T $99.99 bundle for phone, Internet nd DISH is what did it for me. Stay tuned to see if I still “feel the love” when I get my phone bill.Bargain classes: Speaking of giving aging brains a goose, reader Twila Foster says there are great deals on local classes for the 50-something crowd. Horizon Studies has offerings for boomers and beyond at Berkeley City Club, a Julia Morgan historical building. The instructors are veteran professors, and the content is varied, but usually includes something scintillating like religion or history.

Meanwhile, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute through UC Berkeley has classes for 50 and older on everything from the Joy of Singing to Telling your Stories with Technology. The cost per session? $125 plus a $50 membership fee.

About town: Look for the Town Crier and cronies on KQED’s “Check Please! Bay Area” in the coming weeks. The producers were shooting at Crogan’s in Montclair the other night, capturing wine-infused customers enjoying the popular 4-6 p.m. happy hour. I just happened to stop by. I don’t make a habit of it — I swear.

Seasonal bouquet: You can almost smell it coming. I’m talking about spring, of course, and the natural cycle of births in the animal kingdom. Sadly, the babies aren’t always car-savvy — and some end up being injured. One little guy with a rather large stripe down his back, lay writhing in the street for six hours after being mowed down at Ascot and Girvin. He was finally rescued and is being nurtured back to health by Yggdrasil Urban Wildlife Rescue. If you want to adopt him (whew) or want more information on this nonprofit animal organization, see http://www.yuwr. org/


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