MONTCLARION: April 1, 2011

It’s been more than a decade since I started this column. My children were young, and I was still using Oil of Olay. Now I’m looking at collagen and college. Time flies.

Bottom line is — I’m taking a break. The Town Crier has been shouting from the rooftops long enough.

I know what you’re thinking — and it’s not you, it’s me. You’ve been great. In fact, I’ve been getting fat off the nuggets of news you’ve been feeding me. But it’s time to go back to my roots as a hard-news journalist. I can’t, in good conscience, keep turning out fluff when there’s serious news to be covered.

So join me, won’t you, in one last blast of powder puff fare. It’s been a great ride.

ZOO NEWS: By the time you read this, little Joey will probably have popped from Mama’s pouch. The Oakland Zoo’s new baby wallaroo has been peeking out of the pocket for a few weeks now, after being born at the zoo last October. At birth, the marsupials look like hairless kidney beans. It’s amazing what a little fur and some limbs will do for your confidence.

ON THE AIR: If you’ve been stripping the dial looking for Big Rick Stuart, look no more. After more than a decade, the popular hills deejay has left his gig at KFOG for middays at KFOX. “Ten years — it’s like a thousand dog years,” he says, adding it was time for a change. Stuart is still spinning the classic rock hits. “Straight-up favorite and familiar songs by big artists — the songs all these bands play for their encores,” he says. Check him out from 3-7 p.m. on 102.1. FM.

HIDDEN TREASURES: Gas prices got you down? What if I told you your Tiffany Lamp might be worth a cool 60K? That’s what one person discovered after bringing her lamp to the Oakland Fund for the Arts “Antique Roadshow.” This year’s event is Thursday, April 7, at Clars Auction Gallery, and don’t worry if you can’t actually bring your antique. OFFTA’s president, Sally Landis, says the old safe she bought at a flea market weighs a ton, so she’s bringing in photos instead. The event is expected to raise about $20,000 to fund arts in the Oakland Public Schools. For more information, see www.oaklandfundforthearts.org.

NIGHT MOVES: My new favorite haunts are in Berkeley — for drinks at the Shattuck Hotel and a show at the new Freight & Salvage. The Shattuck is a hip hundred-year-old hotel with a big lobby bar that’s got great vibes and a $5 extended happy hour. And if you haven’t been to Freight & Salvage’s new digs, you need to check out two upcoming shows featuring versatile Montclair musicians. Tony Marcus holds a birthday bash tomorrow night (April 2) with many of the groups he’s played with over the last 30 years, and Caren Armstrong and friends perform Sunday, April 10.

Oh, and let me be the first to wish you happy APRIL FOOLS’ DAY. See you next week. (I’m not leaving!)